cl0ckw0rkf0x: (Default)
This whole moving in together thing is starting to feel real. Starting to wonder what it'll be like; never done this before. There's been no family objections. Token scepticism from my dad, but that's to be expected, as he's working on getting his ex girlfriend out of the freakin' house. (She's supposed to be out in april; she's finally got a place.)

Not letting that get to me though. Everyone who matters wishes us well, and many have given me valuable advice.

I don't like change. I get very stressed, I like static schedules and patterns I can follow. As long as I can get into a new pattern it'll be fine, though. I can feel my mind preparing itself. Unsettling itself, even before the real stress starts. Just need to accept it as natural stress, and realize it's necessary to help me cope.

Lindsay has monies again though. Sun life sends Lindsay monies.
cl0ckw0rkf0x: (Default)
Apparently ye all have little faith. Everyone thinks Me and Nathan are on our first anniversary. We are in fact on our second, and beginning our third year together. And still happy.

It can be a little frustrating, being happy among so many people who have bad or no relationships. I wonder if I should feel guilty for being happy. I don't really think so. In any case, it serves no purpose.

Nathan's parents' relationship is going to hell, and his mom, after a fight with his dad, turned on him when he asked her to try and remain reasonably civil, and least in front of his girlfriend, and told him to just wait twenty years, then we won't be able to stand being in the same room together.

Honestly, like she knows what she's talking about! Like she's got a track record to show me she knows how to do things right and how to do them wrong. Would it make her feel better about herself if things went bad between me and Nathan? Would it prove to her that there was nothing she could have done to change her life? Would it make her feel better about not doing anything about it?

And it's a fatalistic attitude that so many people have. It's depressing. Discouraging even. Not that i'm going to let them get to me. Nathan and I have too much going for us, and it's not about things meant to be, or soulmates, or fate, or what have you. Relationships take work, and we live in a society where we think things should be fast and easy. Go to the store, but whatever you want. If you don't like it, buy a different one. Things are replacable; people are replacable. Not happy in your relationship? Go have an affair. Break up a family. Don't bother working on it, it's hopeless; shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, wasn't your soulmate like you thought then. Your spouse doesn't like X? Well too bad, they shouldn't have married you. Their problem, not yours.

Well I'm not going to be like that. I have something good, and I'll fight tooth and nail to keep it. And not just keep it, but keep it in good repair. We talk about this, lots.

It makes me happy when I see other people in happy relationships, especially long standing ones. It's not impossible, and it's not fate. Not entirely anyway. Fate can bring two people together, but it can't keep them together. But that's a good thing, because it means our happiness is in our own hands, and we can do something about it.
cl0ckw0rkf0x: (Default)
Nathan and I haven't had time alone in over a week, and unless one or both of us cancels something, we won't for at least another week. I can cancel belly dancing on tuesday, but it would only buy us a couple of hours, or Nathan and I could both cancel gaming on sunday, or me cancel gaming and him cancel his WOW raid group on wed, which gives us most of the day, or he can cancel WOW on friday, which gives us the whole day.

So what do we do, we ask one another. He wouldn't come out and offer to cancel gaming on friday. But logic dictated that friday would give us the most time for the least sacrifice. Which I stated.

Do you want me to skip WOW?

Yes. I think that would be best. It makes the most sense.

Ok.

...But let it be known that I chose you over WOW!

*roll my eyes*

He didn't whine though. In fact he was very much the martyr about it. I almost felt guilty. But not quite, because it's still a dumb frickin' game.

Still, our relationship is built on discussing these issues rationally, and not making demands or guilt trips, and I appreciate that. These things don't turn into huge snarling fights like some couples. We communicate our needs and do our best to meet one another's. It's hard, but I can't imagine how much harder it would be to maintain a relationship where I couldn't communicate with my lover, or he didn't hear me.

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September 2011

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